The summer holidays are around the corner, and that makes me very happy. I love almost everything about summer (Ice-cream! Sunshine! The sea! Reading while lying on my belly in the yard! No exams! Floral dresses! Colours! Barbecues! Etc!). But there is one stress factor, one hindrance, one pain in the ass, namely FINDING A WELL FITTING AND BEAUTIFUL BIKINI. Why can’t they just design bikinis that help your body look its best? I have a love-hate relationship with bikinis. There are a lot of really lovely bikinis out there, but not all of them are equally flattering. The main problem, I think, are the straps. They’re accentuating the broadness of your/my shoulders. Not everyone has a size zero, and not everyone has slim shoulders. Bikini designers should know such things! Or are they plotting against womanhood? Is that it? Well, in that case: STOP IT, I want to look GOOD in a bikini.
Someone who did manage to look good in bikinis or swimsuits all the friggin’ time was Brigitte Bardot. Before she became an old, fat, animal loving racist, Brigitte was one of the most beautiful and sexy models, singers and actresses France ever had. She was born in Paris in 1934, but Saint-Tropez would become the place we associate her with. In the fifties she bought a house there, helping along the popularity of this little port town. Her style is extremely recognizable (sexy, French, Breton stripes, jeans, the Bardot neckline, the checkered pattern, hair bands to tame her wild blonde hair, ballerinas, heavy black eye make-up, extremely short shorts, etc.). But she is most famous for popularizing the bikini and her wild beehive hairstyle (called: the choucroute). In 1952, when she was only 18 years old, she played in the movie Manina, woman without a veil, which is also called Manina, the girl in the bikini. See for yourself why:
Brigitte has always been one of my fashion icons and one of my favourite French actresses. I’m not too pleased about her political views, but it has always been her looks and Frenchness that have interested me, so I will just ignore that aspect of her personality. Let’s remember her as the stylish sex symbol she used to be, and not as the mean old woman she has become. And give me a perfect, beautiful, and functional bikini (a Bardot Body would also be nice). Amen.