Dear producers of BB cream,
Yes, I am a (hesitating) fan of your product. But for the love of God, why can’t you manufacture a cream that is light enough for my skin? I have spent my pocket-money on no less than three different kinds of BB cream, but none of them are light enough to match the colour of my skin! I thought BB cream was supposed to adapt itself to the skin-colour of each user. Well, your soft and light and moisturizing creams are definitely not adapting to my paleness. Ok, I might have the pale skin of a vampire bride, but I am pretty sure that there are lots of girls out there with the same “problem”. Most of my friends share this Disney princess snow white look (yes, I only befriend girls who are as stunningly beautiful as I am), and since I have trouble looking beyond my own personal universe where everyone is pale, I’d say you have a problem. A ginormous amount of could-be-clients are missing out because you haven’t been able to make a BB cream that is light enough for people like me. For now, I will mix the creams with other – secret – products I own (and I own a lot of products, o yes I do), but could you please-thank you-you are ever so kind fix this problem and deliver an “extra light” version of your product?
Sincerely, a could-be-superclient
p.s. the brands I used are Nivea, Garnier and The Bodyshop
Dear Miranda Hart,
This is a thank you note for being so refreshingly hilarious. Whenever I’m stressed or sad, I put on a Miranda episode and all my troubles disappear (for thirty minutes, then they come back, fuck reality). SUCH FUN. I’m totally stealing your reaction after doing something embarrassing (“I meant to do it like this”). I’m also mimicking the whole talking to oneself (or the audience), which is a little bit more disturbing, but o well. You, me and our fruit friends could have so much fun. Dear Miranda, don’t ever change, you’re my hero.
Your equal in clumsiness
Stop being so addictive.I have other things to do you know. Like checking my Facebook, reading other people’s blogs, watching television series, scrolling through Twitter, updating my LinkedIn profile, and doing some other, less important stuff such as going to classes and doing homework.
Enough fictional letters for today. Here’s some music to enjoy:
The War on Drugs